Melts in Your Mouth, Not on Your Alignment
}} Haley and Celia attempt to deal with Belkar's morality. Cast * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶ * Celia ◀ ▶ * Solt's Donkey ◀ ▶ Transcript The party continues down the road. Belkar leads Solt's Donkey while eating a a candy bar. Celia: I can't believe I'm traveling with a criminal Haley: Yeah, you might want to pluralize that noun there. Some of us had to work for a living before we became adventurers. Celia: You know what I mean. Belkar is a murderer, he needs to go to jail. Belkar: Mmmm, tasty! Haley: You know, you're right, I should turn him in to the local authorities. Oh! Wait! The local authorities are the main villains of the comic! Haley: They'll probably give him a medal for ending the gnome menace once and for all. Celia: Well...you're the leader, you're responsible for his actions. Do something. Haley: OK, quick guide: Bald with dark skin? Takes responsibility for other people's actions. Sexy redhead with fair skin? Takes responsibility for her own actions. Haley: And frankly, even that is sort of new. Haley: Leaders are held responsible for their followers under the assumption that the leader has SOME degree of control over them. Which is not the case here: Belkar doesn't listen to me at all. Haley: I'm "leader" in name only, so I refuse to be held accountable for his actions. Haley: I didn't hire Belkar and I'm not his jailer. I say, let fate or karma or the gods or...or whatever deal with his deeds. Celia: But...but you have to do SOMETHING! Haley: Why don't you do something, if you're so keen on it. Maybe kill him—eye for an eye, and all that. Celia: Me? I... I'm not a killer! If I did that, I'd be no better than him. Haley: Yeah, pacifism is tricky that way, ain't it? Celia: He can't just get away with murder! There has to be some consequence Haley: Fine! FINE! Just to get you off my back... Haley grabs the candy bar out of Belkar's hand, "swipe!" Belkar: HEY! Haley throws the candy bar off a cliff Haley: There. The vile criminal has been punished by the loss of his beloved snack. Haley: Milk chocolate justice, with almonds. Belkar: Damn it! With my luck, the next gnome I kill won't even HAVE any candy! Celia: ... Celia: Do you have any idea how many cute fuzzy animals can die from ingesting chocolate? Haley: Oh, for the love of gods... Celia: Now I have to find that candy bar and throw it away in a proper waste receptacle before some little puppy eats it... Haley: She knows what's poisonous to dogs, but not that humans can't shoot lightning? Belkar: Screw her and her "morals"! Let's make a break for it while she's distracted. Haley: Appealing as that sounds, let me ask you this: Haley: Would I be traveling with a horrid little bastard like you if I didn't need all the help I could get? Belkar: Oh, right. Belkar: Good point. Trivia * "Eye for an eye", or the law of retaliation, finds is origins in several passages from the Hebrew Bible, as well as antecedents with similar wording in the Code of Hammurabi. External Links * 540}} View the comic * 75230}} View the discussion thread Category:Return to the Oracle